November 2, Friendos.

Because my toe is broken and I cannot skate, and because I believe in democracy and fear deeply some of these assholes out there who surely are planning to vote harder than you or I will ever vote, I make, right now, an offer.

I will personally buy a shot for every one of you I see on November 2, provided you can prove that you went out and voted. You don't even have to prove it, really. Just vote and look into my genius eyes and I will know, I will see deep into you and know the truth. Look into my eyes and utter the following eight-word password: "Marco Roth's insightful and powerful essay, 'Caucasian Nation." Because here's something true:

"If you are bored and disgusted by politics and don't bother to vote, you are in effect voting for the entrenched Establishments of the two major parties, who please rest assured are not dumb, and who are keenly aware that it is in their interests to keep you disgusted and bored and cynical and to give you every possible reason to stay at home doing one-hitters and watching MTV on primary day. By all means stay at home if you want, but don't bullshit yourself that you're not voting. In reality, there is no such thing as not votin: you either vote by voting, or your vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some Diehard's vote."

So sayeth the man himself. Now believe that and let's recall what it's like having bigoted idiots in charge, and let's exercise that vital right we're guaranteed as Amuricans, yes? Yes.