Clark Hassler is My/Your Mom

This interview is easily the best thing I've read in the last week, and keep in mind that I am a motherfucking serious reader, like pro when it comes to reading. I know all the letters and punctuations by heart AND I also know that when you read out loud you've got to make sure to not end every line like a question? Or people will want to strangle your face and nuts? And that occasionally looking up from the paper can make the audience appear naked and don't say "cunt" in front of an audience because they'll never, ever, no matter who they are, treat the word the way skateboarders and Brits treat it, which is like a small, rounded stone. Clark Hassler.

Also I know nobody here cares about sports because we all wear cardigans and boat shoes now, but this seems pertinent: I think the thing nobody's acknowledging about this Miami Heat basketball trainwreck is that all these guys wanted, Dwayne and Chris and Lebron, was a little more Dude Life in their lives. Calf-tats of Grimace coming soon.